we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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