Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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