Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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