I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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