no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize