did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
