My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
