She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
