I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
