it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
