One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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