I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
