I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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