did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
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He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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