He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
