garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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