Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
