forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
