how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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