well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this beer tastes like vomit already
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
