You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Small penises have feelings too.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
where are you?
Hypothermia
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
