I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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