i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.