Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me

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(612): im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me http://tfl.nu/erth

Replies (72) Good night (1150) Bad night (2526)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"

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(908): there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel" http://tfl.nu/ti94

Replies (12) Good night (1041) Bad night (2276)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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(651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p

Replies (28) Good night (8863) Bad night (817)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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(717): Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something. http://tfl.nu/o9mn

Replies (11) Good night (3754) Bad night (1052)
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(313): View more from Michigan

tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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(313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5

Replies (12) Good night (3881) Bad night (1054)
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(207): View more from Maine

Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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(207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq

Replies (30) Good night (6171) Bad night (1797)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..

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(309): Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around.. http://tfl.nu/cqm4

Replies (4) Good night (2650) Bad night (1062)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.

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(780): Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT. http://tfl.nu/4w87

Replies (13) Good night (2068) Bad night (1230)
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(301): View more from Maryland

did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

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(301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj

Replies (7) Good night (2693) Bad night (1023)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.

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(606): I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well. http://tfl.nu/cs63

Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (1609)
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(914): View more from New York

I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.

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(914): I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder. http://tfl.nu/btge

Replies (7) Good night (2627) Bad night (1018)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.

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(785): I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me. http://tfl.nu/wjzj

Replies (2) Good night (884) Bad night (511)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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(403): The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us http://tfl.nu/rgjh

Replies (6) Good night (968) Bad night (488)
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(577): View more from

I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle

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(577): I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle http://tfl.nu/eql8

Replies (5) Good night (394) Bad night (610)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back

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(303): I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back http://tfl.nu/8udh

Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (583)

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