this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
