your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am naked and annoyed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
