at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
