She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We need to get me chipped asap
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
