Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
