That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
