what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
