I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
