There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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