I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
