Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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