Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
