He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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