some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize