Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize