Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
