you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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