Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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