so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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