I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
