i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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