Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
