i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
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we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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