if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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