her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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