I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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