I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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