where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What drink are we having for lunch?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
