i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
