Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
