i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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