whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
