So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
