Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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